Logically illogical

The logic behind defensiveness doesn’t stack up.

If we’re wrong, do we really want to defend a bad idea or position? If we’re right, will being defensive increase or decrease the strength of our position? Will it hurt or help the odds that others will give up their position in favor of a better way? Will defensiveness foster better listening, on either side? Will our defense or denial of our weaknesses make us stronger.

While there’s no rationale behind the tactic of being defensive, there’s plenty of emotion. Fear is the mortar that holds together the wall of defensiveness. We fear that

• We weren’t smart enough to see it first.
• We risk losing what we have or who we are if we change.
• If we admit we’re wrong, we’ll lose face.
• The world is changing and we don’t want it to – so we defend the “old world”, under the illusion that if we hold to our position long enough, the world will adjust to us.
• The past has been different from what we thought it was, and the future might be different from what we want it to be.
• We are the feedback we’re getting.

Excerpt from "Egonomics" by David Marcum and Steven Smith

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Speed clicking

The world record for speed clicking may be 15.5 clicks per second, but no one beats average Singaporeans in speed clicking the close button in elevators. And the clicking rate gets faster when they see someone walking towards the elevator...

I must be exaggerating and somewhat stereotyping, but the fact is it does happen (plus, the elevator at my work is indeed dumb.)

Seriously, the way these people press the close button reminds me of the Olympic Decathlon game back in early 1980's - somehow. And they do so with innocent look - the same look as when they block your way out of the elevator.

Aargh.

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Appreciating and understanding others

This is the period where people forgive each other - though we should do so everyday, every moment of our life.

To forgive, or to ask for forgiveness, in a way is like corrective maintenance. You know, we correct or replace what is wrong.

The better way is preventive maintenance. That is, maintain it before it fails. Or in this context, try not to do stuff - intentionally and unintentionally - that will require you to ask for forgiveness later.

To do a good preventive maintenance, one may require to perform analysis and, in some cases, simulations.

One of the biggest challenge in social life is the interaction between men and women (one of which men usually apologize without knowing exactly what was wrong). Time Out New York did a little simulation to better understand each sex, particularly in the area of bouncing boobs and dangling dicks. Their reporters traded parts to find out how it feels.

And here are the verdicts:

Guys, I’m not moved by your penis plight. Granted, had I been wearing a pair of loose-fitting boxer shorts, I may have had some motion-control issues—it couldn’t be any fun to run or bike with a set of sweaty objects thwacking against your thigh. But dudes, take advantage of the fact that American Apparel has brought back the brief and as far as I can tell, you’ll be golden. I’ll never make fun of your tighty-whities again. —Kate Lowenstein

I experienced no chronic back problems or sore nipples; the problem that plagued me the most was the punching-bag effect that occurred when doing arm curls. Though this was catnip to my perpetually fifth-grade male mentality, had the boobs actually been attached to my chest, the overwhelming feeling would’ve likely been one of pain, not fascination. —Drew Toal

Let's better appreciate and understand others.

Happy Eid, selamat lebaran, mohon maaf lahir dan batin.

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On being a loser

"I just think she made a lot of lucky shots and I made a lot of errors."
- Serena Williams at the US Open news conference after her quarter-final defeat.

Lucky shots? Come on, Serena... You don't win the U.S. Open, and six other grand slam titles, with a lot of lucky shots.

If, however, she really thought that way, she probably didn't have to say it. And further, don't say this either: "I really don't feel like talking about it. It's like I don't want to get fined. That's the only reason I came. I can't afford to pay the fines because I keep losing."

Just don't come to the press conference and pay the fine.

In fact, while Henin made just a little fewer unforced errors, she had more double faults than Williams. That, if the total of unforced errors and double faults are compared, Serena had only one more than Justine.

They made the same number of aces - four.

The difference? Number of winners* (this must be the lucky shots Serena referred to). Justine had almost twice the winners that Serena had (30 vs. 17).

But isn't this Tennis about -- making more winners than the opponent?

In each of the matches from the quarter finals into the final, the match winners always had more winners than their opponents did. But not necessarily fewer unforced errors. In the match between Venus Williams and Jelena Jankovic, for example, Venus had 60 winners (vs. 17 of Jelena) and 56 unforced erorrs (vs. 24 of Jelena).

So Serena, please learn to become a better loser. Specially since you keep losing, as you said.

* Winner – (rally) a forcing shot that can not be reached by the opponent and wins the point; (service) a forcing serve that is reached by the opponent, but is not returned properly, and wins the point

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