Logically illogical

The logic behind defensiveness doesn’t stack up.

If we’re wrong, do we really want to defend a bad idea or position? If we’re right, will being defensive increase or decrease the strength of our position? Will it hurt or help the odds that others will give up their position in favor of a better way? Will defensiveness foster better listening, on either side? Will our defense or denial of our weaknesses make us stronger.

While there’s no rationale behind the tactic of being defensive, there’s plenty of emotion. Fear is the mortar that holds together the wall of defensiveness. We fear that

• We weren’t smart enough to see it first.
• We risk losing what we have or who we are if we change.
• If we admit we’re wrong, we’ll lose face.
• The world is changing and we don’t want it to – so we defend the “old world”, under the illusion that if we hold to our position long enough, the world will adjust to us.
• The past has been different from what we thought it was, and the future might be different from what we want it to be.
• We are the feedback we’re getting.

Excerpt from "Egonomics" by David Marcum and Steven Smith

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On crime, bras, coffee, topless and nipples...

Pardon the title.

As crime rises and gets more sophisticated, one must keep the new and innovative thinking of preventing and surviving from it.

In Malaysia, where snatch theft case has doubled and is the biggest jump in the crime categories, the police is using the combined efforts (of various departments). As surprised as I am to learn that, I hope this will not be another traffic-jam-causing roadblocks. In addition, KL City Hall has proposed to build pedestrian bridges and plant trees along pavements to prevent snatch thefts. While women are also advised to choose their handbags wisely.

A little root cause analysis would really help... I think now I understand why a lot of Singaporeans are concerned about safety in Malaysia.

The types of crime in Detroit are different and a bit more serious as it involves firearms. I'm not sure what the cops are doing, but a woman avoided serious injury from a gunshot - thanks to her bra. That's right. The bullet struck the underwire on the woman's bra and that saved her from a more serious injury, police said. Of course, some bra wires are made of steel.

I wonder if Vivid Entertainment will come up with a "based on true event" movie.

Speaking about bra, or the lack of it - coffee seems to get a momentum for raising its fans base. The Grand View Topless Coffee Shop in Maine started serving coffee, topless, since the beginning of this year. I drink coffee; it's a good enough reason to pay a visit. The sign says: "Over 18 only. No camera, no touching, cash only". Sounds like going to a gentlemen club, eh? See it yourself.

Do they offer franchising opportunities...? Ouch, the coffee shop was just burned down earlier this week.

Or perhaps in Japan, where topless seems to be just another part of life... and entertainment. Bored with the traditional tug-of-war or the all-time favorite flag football? Try nipple flag challenge! Yes, it does involve nipples, flags, tug-of-war, and Japanese. Sadly, this is not a team-based game, so it is very unlikely to be included in any of corporate outing games.

Pardon the topics as well.

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A message to my friends...

I have two friends who will get married in the next five months or so. Knowing them, and what their friends will do to them, I've got an important message: don't drink too much during your wedding day.

Because in Taiwan a groom just died on his wedding day after having too much wine and beer.

No one should mix wine and beer anyway - unless they're free.

Alternatively, if the wedding can be something similar to this bar in the U.K. (also shared by a friend), that would be, like, continuous yum seng. Yay!

And ladies - or the brides to be, there is another reason to not let your loved ones get drunk in your wedding day. Because a study found that after drinking alcohol men actually see women as less attractive. You don't want that to happen on that D-day. At least not before they say "I do".

All the best for your weddings.

Cheers!

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To chew or not to chew...

Singapore has banned the sale and import of chewing gum since 1992, but a new research may force the government to reconsider its policy...

clipped from www.reuters.com

CHICAGO (Reuters) - In a study likely to make school janitors cringe, U.S. researchers said Wednesday that chewing gum may boost academic performance in teenagers.

Many U.S. schools ban chewing gum because children often dispose of the sticky chaw under chairs or tables.

But a team led by Craig Johnston at Baylor College of Medicine in Houston found that students who chewed gum during math class had higher scores on a standardized math test after 14 weeks and better grades at the end of the term than students in the class who did not chew gum. The study was funded by chewing gum maker Wrigley.

Imagine how the Singaporean parents will react!

Singapore Math is respected world-wide. It is considered "the most powerful approach to primary math instruction in a generation" by a U.S. institution for educators. It is about the curriculum, says the institution.

I'd say, it is the kiasu-ness of the parents and the ridiculous number of tuition centers around. Check how the support was recently created to ensure parents can still afford paying for tuitions in during this crisis period.

In this republic, tuition is among the most important in Maslow's hierarchy!

So if all the 'hard works' are undone by a bunch of gum-chewing American kids, we can have a serious riot here demanding supply of chewing gum...


PS. I don't wanna get into trouble here - so just wanted to make sure everyone is aware that there is no indication that the ban of sale and import of chewing gum will be lifted.

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On sex-ed in Singapore

Having only legalized blow job less than two years ago, Singapore with it's latest buzz around sex education amazes me.

TODAY newspaper has a topic on sex-ed provided by a non-profit organization, AWARE (which itself has been on the news recently).

Some excerpts from the article are:

"Anal sex - can be healthy or neutral if practised with consent and with a condom."

"Pre-marital sex - people might place pre-marital sex as negative, but it is really neutral."

The "AWARE Comprehensive Sexual Education: Basic Instructor Guide", from which the excerpts were taken, was copyrighted in 2007 - the same year as when the oral and anal sex were legalized.

The guide, as TODAYs wrote, has been posted online. If this is the correct guide, the topics include virginity (as a state of mind?), pleasure (sex is a pleasure act), fun (sex is meant to be fun), orgasm, and so on.

A very good move, in my opinion. It's just I don't expect that from a country where even some websites are blocked.

The neighbor Malaysia is definitely way behind, as only last year it was considering sex education in National Service.

So as I posted before: is sex education solution or problem?

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Speed clicking

The world record for speed clicking may be 15.5 clicks per second, but no one beats average Singaporeans in speed clicking the close button in elevators. And the clicking rate gets faster when they see someone walking towards the elevator...

I must be exaggerating and somewhat stereotyping, but the fact is it does happen (plus, the elevator at my work is indeed dumb.)

Seriously, the way these people press the close button reminds me of the Olympic Decathlon game back in early 1980's - somehow. And they do so with innocent look - the same look as when they block your way out of the elevator.

Aargh.

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Appreciating and understanding others

This is the period where people forgive each other - though we should do so everyday, every moment of our life.

To forgive, or to ask for forgiveness, in a way is like corrective maintenance. You know, we correct or replace what is wrong.

The better way is preventive maintenance. That is, maintain it before it fails. Or in this context, try not to do stuff - intentionally and unintentionally - that will require you to ask for forgiveness later.

To do a good preventive maintenance, one may require to perform analysis and, in some cases, simulations.

One of the biggest challenge in social life is the interaction between men and women (one of which men usually apologize without knowing exactly what was wrong). Time Out New York did a little simulation to better understand each sex, particularly in the area of bouncing boobs and dangling dicks. Their reporters traded parts to find out how it feels.

And here are the verdicts:

Guys, I’m not moved by your penis plight. Granted, had I been wearing a pair of loose-fitting boxer shorts, I may have had some motion-control issues—it couldn’t be any fun to run or bike with a set of sweaty objects thwacking against your thigh. But dudes, take advantage of the fact that American Apparel has brought back the brief and as far as I can tell, you’ll be golden. I’ll never make fun of your tighty-whities again. —Kate Lowenstein

I experienced no chronic back problems or sore nipples; the problem that plagued me the most was the punching-bag effect that occurred when doing arm curls. Though this was catnip to my perpetually fifth-grade male mentality, had the boobs actually been attached to my chest, the overwhelming feeling would’ve likely been one of pain, not fascination. —Drew Toal

Let's better appreciate and understand others.

Happy Eid, selamat lebaran, mohon maaf lahir dan batin.

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On investing and porn

Stock market has been performing badly. Wall Street goes banana.

It was the banks. Bear Stearns collapsed, Merril Lynch is about to be acquired, and Lehman filed for bankruptcy.

And now it's the insurers. AIG needs a savior.

Investing looks bleak.

Some people say that I work in a safe industry - consumer products. No matter what, people still need to go on with their life. They need to bathe and wash their hair. And people still make babies too.

But there is another industry whose demand never dies, thus ought to be less volatile than technology or banking: porn.

And we can now invest in porn industry. Adult Entertainment Capital, Inc. went public yesterday in NASDAQ, under ADLE ticker.

MSN Money says the porn stocks are worth watching. With yesterday's closing at $0.0065, you can easily be a shareholder.

An article says that it's a big market, around $57 billion globally. Looks like a huge market that can still be exploited...

A classmate once interviewed with Vivid Entertainment for an internship position in finance. The whole school enjoyed his story about the interview.

Can you imagine the experience of attending ADLE's annual shareholder meeting?

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Politicians are politicians, wherever they are

Bad, or naughty, politicians to be specific.

Mayor of Detroit, Kwame Kilpatrick, recently resigned from his post, having pleaded guilty to felony charges last Thursday in a sex scandal.

Why Kwame? Well, I happened to witness his campaign for his first term in 2001. He was the young candidate (31 years old at that time), campaigning against the old opponent (Gill Hill was 70 at that time). He was hip-hop, energetic, and had this 'young' aura - at least in his TV campaign ads - if I remember correctly.

He was exciting.

However, apparently his two terms in the office was full of controversies. Similar to some politicians in this part of the world, but handled differently.

While he must have done some good things for Detroit, but the information in Wikipedia lists mostly his controversies.

A wild party involving strippers at the official residence of mayor.

The murder of one of those exotic dancers.

Personal use of Detroit Police's Harley-Davidson.

Expensive lease of a luxury SUV (by the city) used for his family.

Use of a Civic Fund (created to improve the city of Detroit) for week-long California vacation with his wife, three sons, and babysitter.

And the latest, a sex scandal with his chief of staff, having previously denied the wrongdoing under oath.

The chief of staff, by the way, once was pulled over for speeding. She reacted by saying "Do you know who the f*** I am?" to the traffic officers. She called the Police Chief and the cops were called off.

These sound kind of familiar, doesn't it?

So I'd say, bad politicians are the same everywhere.

The difference is the way they are handled. Of course, some would get away. But in this region, most will get away. Worse, some are well-guarded and keep their positions for long.

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The top 100 reasons it's great to be a guy

I'm not sure what the original source is, but this has been out there for some time. A bit towards Americans, but nevertheless applies to most guys...

1. Phone conversations are over in 30 seconds flat.
2. Movie nudity is virtually always female.
3. You know stuff about tanks.
4. A five day vacation requires only one suitcase.
5. Monday Night Football.
6. You don't have to monitor your friends sex lives.
7. Your bathroom lines are 80% shorter.
8. You can open all your own jars.
9. Old friends don't give you crap if you've lost or gained weight.
10. Dry cleaners and haircutter's don't rob you blind.
11. When clicking through the channel, you don't have to stall on every shot of someone crying.
12. Your ass is never a factor in a job interview.
13. All your orgasms are real.
14. A beer gut does not make you invisible to the opposite sex.
15. Guys in hockey masks don't attack you.
16. You don't have to lug a bag of useful stuff around everywhere you go.
17. You understand why Stripes is funny.
18. You can go to the bathroom with out a support group.
19. Your last name stays put.
20. You can leave a hotel bed unmade.
21. When your work is criticized, you don't have to panic that everyone secretly hates you.
22. You can kill your own food.
23. The garage is all yours.
24. You get extra credit for the slightest act of thoughtfulness.
25. You see the humor in Terms of Endearment.
26. Nobody secretly wonders if you swallow.
27. You never have to clean the toilet.
28. You can be showered and ready in 10 minutes.
29. Sex means never worrying about your reputation.
30. Wedding plans take care of themselves.
31. If someone forgets to invite you to something, he or she can still be your friend.
32. Your underwear is $10 for a three pack.
33. The National College Cheerleading Championship
34. None of your co-workers have the power to make you cry.
35. You don't have to shave below your neck.
36. You don't have to curl up next to a hairy ass every nite.
37. If you're 34 and single nobody notices.
38. You can write your name in the snow.
39. You can get into a nontrivial pissing contest.
40. Everything on your face stays its original color.
41. Chocolate is just another snack.
42. You can be president.
43. You can quietly enjoy a car ride from the passenger seat.
44. Flowers fix everything.
45. You never have to worry about other people's feelings.
46. You get to think about sex 90% of your waking hours.
47. You can wear a white shirt to a water park.
48. Three pair of shoes are more than enough.
49. You can eat a banana in a hardware store.
50. You can say anything and not worry about what people think.
51. Foreplay is optional.
52. Michael Bolton doesn't live in your universe.
53. Nobody stops telling a good dirty joke when you walk into the room.
54. You can whip your shirt off on a hot day.
55. You don't have to clean your apartment if the meter reader is coming by.
56. You never feel compelled to stop a pal from getting laid.
57. Car mechanics tell you the truth.
58. You don't give a rat's ass if someone notices your new haircut.
59. You can watch a game in silence with you buddy for hours without even thinking (He must be mad at me)
60. The world is your urinal.
61. You never misconstrue innocuous statements to mean your lover is about to leave you.
62. You get to jump up and slap stuff.
63. Hot wax never comes near your pubic area.
64. One mood, all the time.
65. You can admire Clint Eastwood without starving yourself to look like him.
66. You never have to drive to another gas station because this one's just too skeevy.
67. You know at least 20 ways to open a beer bottle.
68. You can sit with your knees apart no matter what you are wearing.
69. Same work....more pay.
70. Gray hair and wrinkles add character.
71. You don't have to leave the room to make an emergency crotch adjustment.
72. Wedding Dress $2000; Tux rental $100.
73. You don't care if someone is talking about you behind your back.
74. With 400 million sperm per shot, you could double the earth's population in 15 tries, at least in theory.
75. You don't mooch off others' desserts.
76. If you retain water, it's in a canteen.
77. The remote is yours and yours alone.
78. People never glance at your chest when you're talking to them.
79. ESPN's sports center.
80. You can drop by to see a friend without bringing a little gift.
81. Bachelor parties whomp ass over bridal showers.
82. You have a normal and healthy relationship with your mother.
83. You can buy condoms without the shopkeeper imagining you naked.
84. You needn't pretend you're "freshening up" to go to the bathroom.
85. If you don't call your buddy when you say you will, he won't tell you friends you've changed.
86. Someday you'll be a dirty old man.
87. You can rationalize any behavior with the handy phrase "F*#k it!"
88. If an other guy shows up at the party in the same outfit, you might become lifelong buddies.
89. Princess Di's death was almost just another obituary.
90. The occasional well-rendered belch is practically expected.
91. You never have to miss a sexual opportunity because you're not in the mood.
92. You think the idea of punting a small dog is funny.
93. If something mechanical didn't work, you can bash it with a hammer and throw it across the room.
94. New shoes don't cut, blister, or mangle your feet.
95. Porn movies are designed with your mind in mind.
96. You don't have to remember everyone's birthdays and anniversaries.
97. Not liking a person does not preclude having great sex with them.
98. Your pals can be trusted never to trap you with: "So...notice anything different?"
99. Baywatch
100. There is always a game on somewhere.

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